At least make sure they are 18
Why
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
