haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
