I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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