when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
