today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
