I wanna bring you to show and tell
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You ruined the universe
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
