Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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