Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
