I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
