can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
