did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Damn victory sex feels great
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
