My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
