Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Randomize
