i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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