D3 body, D1 cock
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
