Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
