I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
