Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
