Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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