Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
