drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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