Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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