you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
