so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
