We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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