I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
