After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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