ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
