I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
