My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
