hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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