Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
