He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
