I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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