yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
a search helicopter?!
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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