Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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