I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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