ya dads aren't the best wingmen
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Are we still banned from the library?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
