i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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