is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
