this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
