i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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