There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
