dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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