my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
