There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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