in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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