That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
