she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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