the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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