All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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