The maid of honor just puked.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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