from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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